Friday, November 20, 2009

What women want

On a recent trip to Ohio, I read the book "Act like a lady, think like a man" by Steve Harvey. Ladies, it's a short read and Harvey gives some great, SIMPLE insights into the male mind. Even if you are married or in a long-term relationship, this book is an honest and even funny look at what men want.
What I liked about Harvey's advice is that he is all about maintaining a woman's dignity. For instance, he offers a list of questions every woman should ask a man fairly early in a relationship. One of the questions, "What do you think of me?" took me by surprise. Really? Isn't that kind of fishing for compliments? I shouldn't HAVE to ask a guy how he feels about me. But after reading Harvey's book, I get it. Guys aren't about the subtle. Be direct. If you want to know, you are going to have to ask. And you want to know what he thinks of you.
Since reading Harvey's book, I've been thinking about how I would break down "what women want" into simple easy-to-understand, direct steps. Ha! Women are not that simple. You dudes have it hard, I am sorry to report.
While I consult the experts (my girlfriends) and seek counsel (from the elder women in my life), here is the first piece of wisdom I have for you men: The woman in your life wants to know that she is special to you.
When you ask her on a date, don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. You've initiated the date - you make the plans. She wants to know that you went to some trouble and gave your date some thought. It's OK to ask "Do you like sushi?"
Don't take her to your favorite restaurant, because she knows that all the ladies who've ridden in your passenger seat have eaten there, too. Discover new places together. Do some research. Learn what her favorite foods are. Take her to her favorite place.
We women will have a hard time mustering enthusiasm if we know that you are wisking us away to a B&B where you've wrinkled the sheets with another lady. We know you've been in other relationships. In fact, we are reassured that you have experience in committed relationships. While we're together, we need to know that we are the bomb. Explore new territory.
Did she say she likes jazz? Find a cozy jazz club. Did she say she likes motorcycles? Rent one and take her on a day trip. Is her favorite color blue? Show up at her door with a bouquet of her favorite color.
We don't care how much money you spend on us or if you buy us expensive gifts. (And if that's what she wants, you are with the wrong chica.) Women like little gestures that let us know you pay attention when we talk.

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