Tuesday, September 28, 2010

"Girl I date"

My mom calls me and tells me that an ex has changed his Facebook relationship status to "in a relationship."
I'd defriended the ex, but she didn't. In all fairness, I'm FB friends with his mom, too, and have no intentions of de-friending her. Outside of FB, I'll likely never see her again, nor will he ever see my mom again, yet we hold onto these people as digital friends. What can I say? I like his mom, and once in a while she sends me a message that is full of wisdom and insight. I wouldn't want to miss that.
The whole FB relationship status thing seems silly. Apprently, we're not in a relationship until we declare it on FB.
I suppose there is something validating about expressing yourself that way. Like, when you see in writing that your significant other claims you, there's a permanence ... or commitment ... in that.
Another ex - from many, many years ago - recently found me on FB. Our romance was short-lived, but we have had fun remembering those times. We really dug each other, but he wasn't ready for a commitment, which resulted in a lot of silly drama. That showed up when he received a cordless phone for Christmas (this was pre-cell phone days, so that tells you how long ago this was) and happily programmed in his friends' numbers in the 10 speed dial positions.
"I'm not on here," I said.
"Yes you are, you're in position 1," he said. Position 1 was blank. He'd programmed in all of his friends numbers and wrote their names, but he didn't write my name in position 1.
Needless to say, that led to a major discussion about commitment, validation and permanence. (The next time I was alone in his house, I wrote "Girl I date" in position #1 ... :o) ... )
I don't know if declaring your relationship status on FB or a cordless phone makes it any more real or not, and I certainly wouldn't let the absence or presence of either of those define my relationship ... but it does take me back to junior high school ... maybe I'll write "I love John" on my tennis shoes ... I'm feeling silly ...

1 comment:

Jake P said...

"Girl I date" -- brilliant!

You know, I've been married for 16 years and I still haven't changed my relationship status on FB. Just seems sort of weird to declare such things on there to me. Same thing with political affiliation. (Mine is snarky, not R or D.)