Threw myself a pity party; I was the only guest

As if learning to swim in eight weeks is not enough of a challenge, the universe (as my friend Diane would say) has given me more hurdles.
For three weeks, I have battled migraines. I won't whine here (my mom said I did that with her on the phone an hour ago), but I will VENT because I am FRUSTRATED!
When I was pregnant 12 years ago, everyone had an anecdote or advice to share - women AND men. Back then it was kind of fun, but sometimes I felt like I just wanted to have my own experience and not hear about everyone's water breaking, babies' heads crowning and episiotomy stitches (ewww, please). But our fresh experiences allow others to revive their stale ones, so whatever.
Anyway. Back to me.
Everyone has a remedy, diagnosis, treatment or theory about my headaches and dizziness. Y'all are gettin' on my nerves, which are short-circuited anyway. Yesterday, I knocked over a vase that I keep in a precarious position in my kitchen. I knock it over on a good day, being the quasi-clutz that I am, but because of my vertigo, I knock things over and drop things more often.
Yesterday was the last time I knocked over the vase. After spilling its contents on the floor, I picked it up and hurled it at the wall, breaking it into a thousand gratifying pieces. Then I fell to pieces on the kitchen floor and cried like a big baby. Threw myself a pity party, and I was the only guest.
Swimming worries me. This triathlon worries me. Diane and I swam on Saturday, and I made a little progress, but I have so far to go. I'm still working on breathing in air rather than water and trying to roll versus lift out of the water. I feel more comfortable, but I get frustrated that I continue to sink.
"Do you take in water when you swim," I asked Diane, "even a little bit?"
My friend, who tells it like it is, said, "Oh, hell no," shaking her head emphatically and laughing.
I tried to quiet my mind while I swam the 25-yard drills, but here is what it was saying: "How are you going to do TEN of these in EIGHT weeks? You are NEVER going to be READY! If you don't figure this out you are going to have to DOGGY paddle for 250 yards for your mini-tri! You are going to look stupid!"
Those are the hurdles I have created for myself. The universe has created migraines and vertigo.
I have a lot of work to do.