The Gnat

The Gnat buzzes around my eyes, looking for resources to nourish his needs. No matter how many times I swat him away, he returns with new tactics to get my attention. Each time he returns, I am exasperated.

Because I am a kind person, at first I am gentle. I suggest it would be better if he would rely on other resources for his neediness. I wish him well, bid him adieu ... thinking he will fly off into the sunset, leaving us both with romantic thoughts of what used to be.

Then The Gnat returns. He buzzes around my head, a little bigger this time, with gifts and promises. He attempts to lure me into his swarm, and not only am I insulted that he ignored my first request to "shoo," but now I am irritated because he has ruined my romantic thoughts of what used to be.

I am more firm this time, waving my arms, indignant that he must fly away and stay away. My telephone rings and I hear his familiar buzz on my answering machine. I hit "delete" before my heart rate increases and my head explodes.

The Gnat buzzes around the heads of my family and friends, fishing for information. He "accidentally" buzzes me via text message meant for someone else. His travels take him to a tropical location, where he feels it is appropriate to contact me to remind me of the travels we once shared.

I now have thoughts of "What was I thinking?" when I look back on time I shared with The Gnat.

I am beyond annoyed. I pull out the biggest can of gnat repellent I can find. Using phrases such as "mentally unstable," "leave me alone," and "never contact me again," I fire them at The Gnat, hoping that it will stun him enough that he'll seek nurturing from other sources.

I hate bugs.