More formulas, more confusion

Shopping for kitty litter. Standing at the back of Pet Smart, viewing the options.

• Long lasting odor control
• Immediate odor control
• Multiple-cat formula
• Anti-microbial odor control
• Crystal-blend formula
• Litter for small spaces
  

One kitty litter brand. Six formulas. Is there something wrong with me? I want a kitty litter that does all those things. I want immediate, long-lasting control for multiple cats that doesn't track and that clumps and scoops easily. Do I buy all six and mix them in a giant barrel?

If I choose the immediate control, does that mean it won't last? If I choose the long-lasting odor control, does that mean my nostrils will be filled for a short time with eau de cat poo-poo?

And what the hell is crystal-blend formula? According to the Web site, it minimizes dust, offers crumble-free performance (whatever that is) and locks in moisture.

Shit! I want that too!

Lucky for me, Tidy Cat has a "litter selector" on its Web site. Here is the kitty litter that matches my lifestyle:

"Based on your responses, we recommend Tidy Cats Scoop® Small Spaces™. Small Spaces™ is formulated to control odor in tight places with specially designed Litter Granules to absorb odor and form crumble-free clumps, and Power Pieces to neutralize cat box odor on contact."

When I was in Mexico last week, I bought a "wish bracelet" with black beads that symbolize power. Be careful what you wish for: Power may come in the form of clumped-up cat crap.